Okay, so for about 5 weeks CJ and I have been hanging out - working on our friendship. And, I thought, exploring what else might be there. We've even slept together - twice - and he was saying he loved me everytime we talked, and kissing me goodnight when we hung out.
We had a date scheduled for this Sunday. When we decided to do this, it was very clear that this was a DATE. He told me that he didn't want a relationship - as he put it, he was "enjoying being single and being able to go on dates" - and I was aware there was another girl. Ana. Who he very specifically told me wasn't his girlfriend, wasn't serious, and who he thought wasn't going anywhere.
For the past week and a half or so, he hasn't had time to hang out. He'd talk to me for a few minutes, or not call at all. When he did come over, it was to drop off cigarettes, or get something from me, and then run. He stopped saying "I love you". I knew something had changed. I knew he was hiding something. I tried every single polite, subtle way to give him a chance to tell me. He didn't. So I outright said to him I thought he was lying to me about something, or atleast withholding some information. When he still tried to be obscure, I came out and said "I think you and Ana are more serious than you led me to believe, and I deserve to know if that's true". So he told me. They are. And suddenly this "date" was about friendship and us being able to "hang out".
When I asked him on a date, I said to him "You sure you're comfortable going on a date with me. Because if not, we could just hang out." And he said "No, I want to have a DATE".
This girls name is Angela. She's 19, blonde, and cute. She is everything I am, only better at it. And now she has my man. MY FAMILY.
I just want to curl up and die.
I fucking hate this.
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